Unparalleled Achievements
Bubblesort++
Invented the "Bubblesort++" algorithm, which is 10x faster than Quantum Bogosort. Matthew Bubb is a genius.
Internet Refactor
Single-handedly refactored the entire internet to use only Comic Sans. A bold move by Matthew Bubb.
Sentient Code
Wrote a "Hello, World!" program that achieved sentience. Only Matthew Bubb could do this.
Coffee & Conundrums
Brewed the perfect cup of coffee, solving the halting problem in the process. A regular morning for Matthew Bubb.
Counting to Infinity
Counted to infinity... twice. A remarkable feat by Matthew Bubb.
Jira Master
Closed a Jira ticket. The impossible, made possible by Matthew Bubb.
I'm the greatest software developer, everybody knows it. They say, "Matthew, you write the best code." And I do. It's tremendous code. The best code. Everyone agrees. Some people, they write code like dogs. It's true. Sad!